Baby Names Blog

Sports players are an interesting bunch. Priding themselves on their athleticism, power and technique, they often prove some of the most idolised individuals in the public eye. With so many sporting stars to choose from, we managed to dig up some real curious names.

7. Coco Crisp

This guy’s name sounds like a delicious cereal. Or maybe a snack bar. He is known for being one of the few players to bat without batting gloves - perhaps to help get a better feel for his spoon.  As seen below, Coco has spilled chocolatey cereal on his left cheek.

6. Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink

This Dutch footballing marksman has a name fit for a king. “It is I, Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink! Bring to me meat, wine and bitches!“. However, in actual fact, ‘of’ means ‘or’ in Dutch, causing the full surname to echo the shared heritage of Jan’s two ancestral families.

5. Dean Windass

A prolific scorer for both Hull City and Bradford City football clubs, Windass has a lot to live up to in the guff department. Every guy is be proud of their intrinsic flatulent capabilities, but Dean’s name precedes him.

4. Paul Dickov

With a surname like Dickov, we’re pretty surprised that any father would opt for Paul as a first name for his son. The footballer has played for numerous Premiership clubs and is known for his tenacity. Here’s hoping his middle name isn’t ‘My’.

3. Rusty Kuntz

What more can you say - a true classic name, borne by the baseball player who played 1979-1985. Rusty Kuntz, real name Russell, pronounces his surname ‘koonts’. But where’s the fun in Russell Koonts?

2. Geoffery Van Ass

This Dutch football player need not ask the question “Does my bum looks big in this?” - his name announces that he comes from a long line of wide-rumped folk. Also, you’ve got to love the combination of traditional British name + Dutch preposition + the universal ‘Ass‘.

1. Dick Trickle

An estimated 5% of Americans suffer from urinary incontinence. Does Dick Trickle, veteran NASCAR driver, contribute to this statistic? I wouldn’t like to speculate. Though it does happen to the best of us. The motorsport legend has won over 1,200 races and is renowned for smoking cigarettes while racing through a hole drilled in his helmet. For this, and his iconic moniker, we salute him and offer our number 1 spot.